I've heard today that there is a good chance I have cervical cancer and I can't get my head round it. I already knew there was something wrong so I went for the test and sure enough…..

I'm in my final year at university, it looks like my mum has dementia and I'm scared stiff about that, and finances are such that we need me to work full time.

I've told my 17 year old son to find somewhere else to live tonight too. He's been driving me mad for years and I've just had enough.

My other children are fantastic. It's my daughter's 21st birthday on Monday and she saw the letter today and went to pieces. My fiance has gone to pieces too and so have I. My head's all over the place. I had years and years of being completely miserable in my first marriage and am ridiculously happy now with my new man and I can't help thinking I've gone through all that in the past only for it all to be taken away from me. I know I'm probably over-reacting but I just can't believe my luck.

Can someone who's gone through this please give me some words of encouragement?

Yeah, it's a real kick in the groin. To this day, almost a full year after my diagnosis, I'm still thinking the universe picked the wrong person. Or maybe just the wrong time. However, it's never the right time, and you are never the right person, and when you get right down to it, well, it sucks and it is. That's all. It just is.

For me it was shock, then anger, then serious depression (about 2-3 weeks), and then a semblance of acceptance. The anger continued a while. You go through all sorts of emotions. Just ride them out. Don't self-censor. Smile when others tell you to "stay positive" but feel whatever it is you're feeling. That's far more important than trying to artificially maintain some sort of rosy attitude when you're gotten the worst news of your life.

Accept the kindnesses of strangers and of friends and family. Don't spend too much time on the Internet looking at statistics. Statistics are all about a few unlucky people and a lot of lucky ones. You've gotten unlucky, but that has nothing to do with your future. Follow your treatment plans, don't get creative and take all sorts of supplements as they may interfere with treatments, and just focus on getting through it.

Good luck.

im not trying to scare you but you need to face up to what may happen but i hope they caught your cancer early so you will live because my mother had cervical cancer when i was 18 she was 41 her cancer was far gone it spread she died so i hope you found out in time so they can remove your cancer with surgery sorry to tell you that but maybe you can get something done about yours

It sounds like you have a lot of good people around you to help you focus on your treatment. Seek out information, would with a doctor you trust to establish a game plan. Otherwise the different treatments from different experts can get confusing.

Some good books to read; 'It is not about the bike' Lance Armstrong has a great outlook on life and how he got through his cancer. 'anatomy of hope' Dr. Groopman walks you though how emotions are helpful to the person facing medical challenges.

Find a support group or chat room of other c. cancer surviviors. it is great to hear from people with similar fealings and emotions. All the best to you…

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I have never been affected by it but everyone I know who's had cervical cancer has survived it. The best thing you can do be positive and not stress out. I just had a tumour removed from my ovary (they had to remove it to know whether it was cancerous or not, I was lucky, it was benign!). While I was waiting for the surgery my doctor just kept telling me to be positive and not to stress out as stress depletes your immune system and you need to be strong.

You are lucky to have a lot of people around you for support. My prayers are with you!

This is easy to say, but "Don't sweat it"! Of COURSE your head's messed up, but don't make any decisions about anything for a few weeks. Cancer sucks, but it isn't the end of the world, the good news is that now your doctor(s) will know, and will take appropriate action. Cervical cancer is very treatable.

Learn everything you can about the disease (see link) and ignore anything that involves the word "testimonial". Go with your doctor's recommended treatment and you'll be okay… you may not be "just fine" for a couple months, but you will be okay…

I found out I had thyroid cancer a week after my first son was born. We have been fighting it for 2 years now - I go in for my third surgery next month. They just can't seem to get it all.

It's very scary - that's normal, and if you weren't scared, it would be weird.
The good thing is that you have a type of cancer that's treatable, and with surgery and other types of treatment you can one day be back to normal - or mostly normal.
You won't know exactly what to expect until the doctors tell you where it is, how much there is, how extensive the treatments need to be. So for right now, all you can do is prepare for surgery, etc.
I would suggest that you go borrow a book from the library, or buy it - it's calle "tuesdays with Morie" - it's about a man dying, but I don't want you to get it because you might be dying. Chances are you will live a long wonderful life.
I want you to read it because there are several things in there that have really helped me through this illness. One of them is he says he gives himself 10 minutes every morning alone to greive - to feel sorry for himself and the suffering he is going through. He cries, he yells, he spits, whatever - then when the timer goes off, he is done and he gets on with his day - he puts it to the back of his mind when it comes up again and then uses all those "back of the mind" thoughts the next morning. That way it doesn't consume him, but he acknowleges his sorrow too.

Please know that you are strong, you have a wonderful family and a loving significant other to help you along through all this. You can do anything - you just have to try.

This "why me" part of the grieving process will pass, soon you will be mad at God, or angry with the world, or angry with yourself for the way you have lived - something. There are lots of stages to go through, and you will in your own time.

Talk to your doctors, become active in your healthcare, do research, don't take no for an answer from insurance companies, and above all, try to enjoy every moment you have with your kids - even the one who drives you crazy.
I am actually to the point that even though I want to get it over with already, I can recongize the things that cancer has taught me and use those things now.
You might not believe it, but you will get there too.

Good luck - my thoughts are with you.